She doesn't know it yet but...
*Name(s) have been changed to protect the interviewee's identity
03/04/2025 Written by Juba Begum
⏱ 15 minute read
I watched the tears run as she tried to wipe them away; she was choking from the painful memories she thought she had finally escaped. ‘I don’t know why it took me so long. I get so upset just thinking about it.’
A TikTok trend has recently become viral, sharing videos of people moments away from incredibly traumatic experiences. One TikTok user decided to join the trend and was met with hundreds of thousands of views. She shares her traumatic experiences of being kidnapped, forced into marriage, and raped.
In 2019, Oxfam found that 59 per cent of girls were married before 18-years-old in Bangladesh and 22 per cent were married before 15.
At night, Nadia’s ‘husband’ had visited her bedroom, expecting her to perform her marital duties to consummate the marriage. He asked if she knew that they were married, and she was shocked to learn the truth. She explained to him, ‘I’m not ready to be married, I’m 16,’ and emphasised the fact that she was still a virgin. Nadia was incredibly scared and promised that when she turned 18 and returned back to Bangladesh with her family that he could do ‘whatever he wants.’
At first Nadia’s ‘husband’ was understanding and accommodating to this arrangement, even suggesting sleeping separately. However, after a few days he was ‘a typical guy’ and continuously tried to sleep with Nadia. She was able to reject his advances. Nadia explained to me that some people believe that ‘if you’re not being intimate with your husband then it is a violation against them.’ Upset by Nadia’s behaviour, her husband complained to Nadia’s relative, her mother’s aunty. Nadia was told she had to have sex, told she would never be able to return to the UK, and was emotionally blackmailed. In anger from Nadia’s constant rejections, her husband left to return back to his family home for two days and she ‘slept comfortably’ for those two nights.
‘My dad was looking outside in the garden. He would stay up all night and watch what was happening. My mum was sleeping near the room,’ neither knew what would happen next. Nadia’s husband, ‘came in stupid o’clock in the morning.’ Nadia remembers how sick and weak she felt that night, blaming it on her ‘bad immune system.’ Whilst her husband creeped into the room, Nadia was resting, wearing a long night dress.
‘His upper body jumped on me and his hands were covering my mouth, so I didn’t scream. I just remember I didn’t even think at this point that he would try and rape me.’ Nadia clearly remembers the strength he had over her, she remembered every detail of that night. ‘He was lifting my dress, and he was pulling my knickers and eventually he did force it on me.’ The white bedding, purposely chosen by her family to reveal when she consummated her marriage, was covered by a ‘ridiculous amount’ of blood. ‘All I remember is that I was staring into thin air,’ Nadia broke into tears, ‘I was in so much shock, I didn’t say anything. I was in so much pain.’ In anger, she punched him and ran into the bathroom and cried in there the whole night.
Not knowing what to do, or who she could talk to, Nadia confided in her grandmother. She was told she wasn’t raped as he was her husband, ‘he has every right to you.’ Nadia remembers crying and begging to go back home and would wonder how she would return to the UK.
The Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics found in a 2024 Violence Against Women Survey, that 70 per cent of women have experienced at least one form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
After begging her mother to take her back to the UK, Nadia was finally able to return. However, once she returned, she became a rebellious child, who would ‘be out all the time with friends,’ became very aggressive when she spoke to her family, and was distant with her family. Nadia did not want anything to do with a man in any sense after what had happened.
Two years later, Nadia told her mum she wanted to see her grandfather as she missed him. Her family thought there was something wrong with Nadia because of her changed behaviour and believed it was due to black magic. In reality, it was because of her trauma from being raped, but her ‘husband’ would not admit to that and Nadia ‘didn’t have it in her to tell anyone.’ Hearing that Nadia wanted to go to Bangladesh, her family ‘jumped on the opportunity.’
Nadia was reassured by her mother that she would stay at her mother’s friend’s home and then go to stay at her mother’s family’s home. Once she arrived back in Bangladesh, her in-laws were all at the airport, angry. They followed her to her mother’s friend’s house and tricked Nadia into believing she would be kidnapped if she goes there. They convinced Nadia to go to her father’s family home and once she arrived there, she fainted and couldn’t remember anything that took place.
Opening her eyes, Nadia was stunned to find herself in bed with her ‘husband’ sitting next to her, her gut was telling her something was wrong.
Nadia was convinced to go to visit her in-law’s home after hearing that her father-in-law was unwell. This would also be a lie, and the horrors Nadia’s faced for three long months would start.
As soon as she entered the home’s entrance, the gates behind her were locked. She wasn’t dragged off the streets or taken against her will, she was manipulated and deceived. Nadia’s in-laws were planning to keep her hostage in their home until she had conceived their son’s child. They hoped a child would make Nadia accept their marriage. ‘They drugged me, locked me in a room with him one day and said if you don’t get pregnant then we’re going to have to shoot you.’ She was told that her parent’s had encouraged this threat and had the same goal, something she would later learn was untrue. This destroyed her relationship with her parents.
A large sum of Nadia’s freedoms was stolen from her, her phone was taken away by her brother-in-law, and he would pose as Nadia online faking a happy married life to avoid suspicions from Nadia’s family and friends. Nadia was made to use separate seasonings and cooking supplies from the family, and she later found that the majority of her food and water had been drugged to allow her ‘husband’ to rape her. Nadia also wasn’t able to make calls or leave the house without supervision, as they feared she would be able to escape.
‘I became hysterical at this point; I was crying to come back to the UK and having panic attacks.’ The pain had become unbearable for Nadia. Feeling hopeless, numb, and depressed she had attempted to take her own life by overdosing on the same drugs that were used to control her. ‘The moment I did it, I was scared,’ she explained that almost instantly after she had forced herself to vomit out the pills to save her life. Nadia thought, ‘I don’t want to die like this,’ at the time.
Whilst this was happening to Nadia, in the UK family drama and trouble had led to Nadia’s aunty to inform the police on what was happening to Nadia. She decided to do this to harm Nadia’s families honour and reputation. Nadia explained that ‘in Bangladesh if someone’s daughter runs away with the police, your honour is ruined.’
‘She didn’t even realise that she had save my life.’
A phone was mistakenly placed next to Nadia’ uncle, a man with mental issues that causes developmental delays, he picked up the ringing phone. On the other line, a call from the British High Commission in Dhaka, asked for Nadia. Her uncle handed her the phone.
Once hearing where the phone call was from, Nadia grabbed the phone in excitement. ‘Are you being forced to stay here?’ Nadia was asked by a woman named Amy; the English accent she heard over the phone gave her hope. Nadia couldn’t fully trust the phone call, she was paranoid, ‘I thought they hired a white lady.’
Amy reassured her that she would be found and rescued. Nadia, still suspicious and unsure, packed her luggage’s and locked them inside her cupboard.
Before she knew it, the police had found her at her father’s family home and arrived armed. ‘I just burst into tears, and they all grabbed me and moved me away from my relatives and wouldn’t even let me say goodbye for safety.’
When Nadia did make her return to the UK, she was not allowed to return to her family home due to safety concerns. Nadia suffered from PTSD and anxiety after her experience. She attended therapy, to rebuild her confidence and improve her mental health. ‘I thought I was going crazy, I used to have flashbacks, and I would have these dreams that made me wake up sweating. I would remember everything so vividly.’ At the time Nadia was unaware as to what PTSD was and worked hard to improve her mental health.
I asked Nadia what advice she would give to women who are or were in her position. She believes her ‘biggest mistake’ was never being open about what had happened or even feeling ashamed about what had happened to her. ‘I don’t know why it took me so long,’ Nadia cried, ‘no one will ever understand unless they’ve been in our shoes.’
‘My biggest advice is never let anyone’s opinion or input stop you from opening up or letting things out. Even if it’s to the public eye, if you’ve done nothing wrong, don’t be ashamed to hide it.’
31-year-old TikTok personality, Nadia, had her life turned over at only 16. Travelling to her parent’s birth country, Bangladesh, with her mother and younger brother. Nadia was pressured by her family abroad to get married, a plan that her and her mother were unaware of. Introduced to a family friend six years her senior, Nadia pleaded against marriage. She decided to compromise and agreed to marry once she had reached 18 years of age, her parent’s supported this. ‘I was still in college; I had no intentions to marry.’
This was until her mother changed her mind and started planning for her Islamic marriage (Nikkah) without her consent or knowledge.
Nadia, deceived into believing she was attending her engagement party and misinformed on the processes of a Nikkah, was dressed and adorned like a bride. She was deceived into a marriage at only 16. ‘I was so naïve and stupid,’ Nadia’s voice twinged with pain says to me as she reminisces.
